and what if the things I thought are the most meaningful suddenly appears to be meaningless? and should I even look for meaning at all ? Why can't people be just ok with this meaningless existence and be happy and not think about what have I done with my life and all the bs ? I was actually trying to motivate myself for something, anything, and realized I cannot find anything to be inspired or keep me inspired for a long time, may be because I am thinking about my PhD topic these days and getting overboard by the thought and hence comes this crap about ' meaning of life '.
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